How I Fired My Housecleaners and Regained My Sanity

Reposting this from the old blog because it was a favorite and because I've got a follow-up post and another tangential post in mind...

I'm totally ahead of myself on this one. Totally smug. Clearly going to all fall apart as soon as I hit publish.

But I wanted you to know that I'm feeling better about mothering and housewifery in general (though I'm sure more valleys are on the way). And it all started when my housecleaners stood me up a couple of weeks ago.

I'd been planning my pathetic life around the housecleaners. They came every other week, and I tried to avoid having people over on the weeks that they didn't come. Because while two weeks is too long to go between cleaning sessions in this house...well, I did. I mean I did the dishes and wiped counters, but nothing that I considered yucky. Or inconvenient.

I'm not one of those fabulous women (bless their hearts) who say things like "I just can't rest knowing that the kitchen is a mess."

There are many times I cannot rest...I've had insomnia since I was a kid. But things that keep me up are worries that I made a mistake at work and will be fired and eventually end up homeless. Or regrets about how I phrased something I said to someone. Or wondering whether awesomesauce/awesome sauce is one word or two. But dishes? Dishes actually make me tired.

Anyway, the day I was stood up, in a fit of fury, I cleaned the kitchen. And while I worked, I cooked up a plan (heh, see what I did there). Having our babysitter come for four hours would be $20 less than the cleaning fee, and if I could manage to keep up the house better and finish cleaning in less than four hours, I might have some time left over to just BE.

And suddenly cleaning seemed to be a means to an end. An end that I liked (because the whole clean house as an end just doesn't completely do it for me). So I set up some morning and evening routines, and THEY WORK, y'all.

It's really amazing how little time it takes me to get through my list, and yet how magically clean the house stays when I do my list. And now I'm keeping the house clean on my own, and I somehow seem to have more time. Time to do things with the kids without feeling like I'm failing in the other part of my job description. And people can drop by any time and I'm not furtively shoving a dirty pot into the oven.

And I realize most people already do these things and can't believe there are people like me who are late to this party, but there it is. I'd plugged the wrong directions into my GPS, but I think I'm on my way now and I'm hoping you have one margarita left for me.

For those of you who are wondering what all this list entails, here ya go:

Morning Routine

Song, Ladybug, Prayer

Get Dressed

Unload Dishwasher

Cook and Eat Breakfast

Clean Up Dishes, Feed Kona

Start Laundry

Make Bed

 

Evening Routine

Dinner (6:15)

Clean Up All Dishes & Toys (6:45)

Bath Time (7:00)

Bible Reading (7:30)

Kids' Bedtime Routine (7:45)

_________________________________________

Start Dishwasher

Wipe Counters & Table

Swiffer Floor

Yup, pretty basic. But when I'm feeling overwhelmed by the house after we've hosted a big group or something, I just make sure I do the checklist and after one morning and one evening, things are usually back to normal.

Also, when I'm running on little sleep and feel like I should get a break, I tell myself I MUST do the things on my list and then I can...have another cup of coffee because there are no breaks in motherhood, sucka!

There are a few more things I do during the day: I fold that load of laundry. I wipe down the bathtub as I'm setting up for bath time each evening. We're in the bathroom a lot lately since we're potty training, so at some point each day I wipe the counter in there and several times a day I wipe up the toilet or else it would look like it belongs in a frat house. And I vacuum once a week. But do you know what the great thing is about vacuuming? You can't hear the kids whining! I fire it up when Gus is asking to watch TV.

So I share this purely in a spirit of sharing, and not in a "you should do this" kind of way, because what do I know of your life? I like to hear what's working for other people, but lately I've noticed a trend of bloggers who want to position themselves as experts on various things, but hold on...that's a rant for another post. Let's just say that I'm not trying to brag here; just mentioning that I feel like I've gone from bad to sort of okay. And that's a Good Thing. Only I just typoed "God Thing" which is probably more accurate.

Besos, kittens.